Most of us have a messy heap somewhere, even if it’s confined to a junk drawer or in a box hidden from sight.
Those of us who are sentimental or thrifty have a harder time letting go of stuff.
Whether it’s souvenirs we’ve gathered on travels, mementos that make us smile, single socks we’ve set aside while we wait for the return on the one that’s missing, we humans accumulate stuff.
Some of us get teased for the volume of stuff we hold onto.
The truth is in one way or another, we humans accumulate more than we need.
Just like our physical space can become cluttered, the same happens on our insides.
What I’m talking about is internal clutter.
In the form of fears, habits, memories, opinions, shame, or resentment, we hold onto non-physical things that weigh us down.
While decluttering, downsizing, and simplifying our physical stuff are trending, we can apply the same principles to our inner worlds.
One of the most liberating things we can do is begin to let go of the beliefs, attitudes, and opinions we collected so long ago that we can’t recall where they came from. We can ask ourselves if they still fit.
We can imagine there’s an enormous donation box at the bottom of the sea, on some distant planet, or way down below the earth’s surface.
We can use our imagination to lighten our invisible load.
People often come to hypnosis knowing there’s got to be a way out of guilt and shame, without knowing how to get there. Others have no idea guilt or shame are holding them back from a fuller, happier life.
When we act out of our guilt and shame, we act, speak, and think from our hurt instead of our heart.
Guilt is created when we judge ourselves for how our actions, speech, and thoughts conflict with our values. It involves the wish to undo something we’ve done.
As bad as guilt feels, there’s the sense that- an apology, a change in behavior- the wrong can be righted.
Shame is an inner experience, an underlying belief that we’re defective. It’s a core belief that relates to the sense that others see us negatively.
With shame, comes a sense of futility, that what’s wrong is on the inside and it’s unfixable.
When we discover the positive intent behind our guilt and shame, we begin to shift towards a happier way of being.
In hypnosis, people plagued with guilt and shame begin to build their sense of identity, create healthy boundaries, and recognize inner resourcefulness.
As shame and guilt loosen their grip, self-sabotage gives way to a new way of being.
We discover we acquired tools from our worst experiences, allowing us to see our worst challenges and ourselves in a new light because we wouldn’t be who we are today without them.
In hypnosis, we let go of the outdated negative talk in our heads so we can replace with it with updated words, behaviors, beliefs that better serve us.
Hypnosis involves a deeply relaxed state where we have access to the subconscious mind.
People come for hypnosis for many different reasons. For example, to overcome habits, fears, phobias, or stress. They also come for hypnosis to break bad habits or create new ones. For example, improved sleep, weight loss, and smoking cessation.
All therapeutic hypnosis involves self-improvement.
Often, we just need to learn how to tap into the body’s natural wisdom.
Between sessions, clients practice new tools, ways of being, and listen to hypnosis recordings.
The main goal of hypnosis is to align subconscious motivation with conscious desire.
What brings most people in is when the subconscious and conscious are out of rapport.
The subconscious mind is responsible for our habits, behaviors, and emotions. It likes autopilot and acting without thinking.
Whereas the subconscious mind is 90% of our brain power, the conscious mind is only 10%.
When you consciously want to change but can’t, it’s because the subconscious mind is much more powerful, and has put on the brakes.
Hypnosis involves getting the two parts of our minds to collaborate to that we can achieve more flow, happiness, and deeper satisfaction with life.
The subconscious is a place that is beyond words- it’s where your imagination, memories, dreams, aspirations, and intuition live.
We use imagery and symbolism in hypnosis for discovery about the best way to move forward.
Deep relaxation in hypnosis allows the answers you’re seeking to naturally arise.
During hypnosis, you are always fully in control. If you want to scratch an itch, you can. Most of the time you’ll be too relaxed to want to.
Because the subconscious stores all our memories, we look for associations, and can change negative ones to positive ones, and vice versa.
For example, if, as a child you had a bad experience with a dog, your subconscious mind, responsible for survival, will store the perception of dogs as threatening. This is how, as an adult, and without memory of the bad experience, you may be afraid of dogs and not know why.
Using hypnosis, we aim to calibrate the two parts of your mind by creating new habits, associations, and ways of being.
Art was my first love. Then came poetry. Now hypnotism. Underneath all is the healing power of the imagination, my tendency to search for meaning and connect deeply with life. I love the way these modalities can be woven together into a magical healing process.
If I could paint or write until I became a whole person, I may have. But I kept seeking, knowing there was something I was missing. What took me to hypnosis was the need to go deeper, the need to explore the subconscious mind.
My intuition told me the key to wholeness was there, it was spot on.
I explored dream yoga, meditation, journaling about life, and spending time in nature. All becomes an important part of the journey.
Hypnosis worked because it allowed my over-analytical mind to take a breather. It allowed me to feel and in turn heal deeply through the use of therapeutic imagery.
Being an artist and a poet helps me help my clients discover and realize their own vision. I still paint vivid pictures, only now by saying the words that swing open the door to the imagination of others to facilitate healing.
If you’re like me, you’ve experienced distracting thought-images to the point you’re unable to engage with the people or situations around you. Maybe you’re drowning in a sea of negative thought as I once did.
Put to good use, your imagination is the ultimate healer. It’s a power that lies latent within us until its discovery, at which time it becomes a life-changing force.
As a child, I spent much of my time in imagination. Fantasy prone for much of my life, I got so turned around with emotion that I couldn’t differentiate between imagination and reality.
When faced with triggers, my reactions were so strong that I yielded to negative forces I believed to be stronger than me without realizing the source of my struggle originated within.
Imagination is our driving power.
Whether we realize it or not, our imagination moves us forward or keeps us stuck.
Half the time we don’t realize that we’re recycling thought-images that keep us in a state of self-perpetuated misery. When our minds are occupied with wounds, fears, or a sense of lack, we end up reeling in more of the same without realizing we’re doing so.
Instead of an ideal world, we create a miserable one.
Chronic worry is negative daydreaming.
For children and adults alike, our imaginations can improve an unsatisfactory reality.
Though at one time, our negative thought-pictures may have protected us, chronic worry, paralyzing fears, and phobias later outlive their purpose.
This is because when we associate ourselves with negative states, we forget who we are. We become overidentified with our negative thought pictures.
Awareness is key.
At one point, my overactive imagination- fears, worries, and anxiety- got the best of me, kept me from leading a full life.
The answer for me was awareness. When I turned inward, away from the five senses, toward my intuition, my life immediately began to improve.
This is because when I entered a deeply relaxed state (theta) my imagination was freed from negative thought patterns.
Consciously used, imagination is the key to a happier life. We put it to good use by generating images that coincide with our ideals
In a relaxed state, the imagination is freed from the constraints of logic.
The solution is turning inward.
In a world filled with deadlines, relationships, and responsibilities, we often keep our focus turned outward without realizing the rich world within.
The key to successful imagining is tuning into the images that flash through our minds, and working towards replacing negative with positive thought-pictures.
Hypnosis, daydreaming, deep meditation all involve theta brain states associated with super learning. This is why hypnosis can be so powerful.
In a relaxed state, the imagination is freed from the constraints of logic, allowing for the forward movement towards our deepest goals.
So you’ve gone through a rough patch and find yourself reliving the old pain. Now what? When do you shift to a resilient mindset? It’s more simple than you might think. Still, it takes effort.
Without adversity there can be no growth. And while blame, shame, and defensiveness are natural reactions to upheaval, on the other side of adversity comes wisdom, self-compassion, and confidence.
What does resilience mean?
Every time we bounce back from a tough patch, we become better people. Resilience is a positive trait anyone can develop. Resilience is the valuable gem on the other side of painful change.
What’s an example of a resilient person?
In Lucy Hone’s TedTalk, The Three Secrets of Resilient People, she talks about the loss of her 12-year-old daughter. In an effort to find hope on the other side of her grief-stricken state, she put her own resilience research to the test.
It is utterly possible to make yourself think and act in certain ways that help you navigate tough times. Resilient people don’t diminish the negative but they also have worked out a way of tuning in to the good- Lucy Hone
Lucy is the epitome of resilience.
How to build resilience
The more on the list below you can muster, the better.
2. Remind yourself of a time you demonstrated resilience. Tap into those feelings again.
3. Connect with loved ones, including your pets. Allow others to soothe you. Remind yourself you’re not alone.
4. Take care of your body. That means healthy foods, plenty of sleep, water and exercise.
5. Journal, pray, and meditate. Find the deeper meaning of the event.
When You’re Overwhelmed
Chunk down tasks into small steps. Ask yourself, What’s the easiest next thing I can do. Let go of perfection.
Appreciate the aspects of your life that make you feel good.
No one escapes adversity. To build resilience, shift your attention to better-feeling thoughts and actions.
Building resilience lets you overcome a sense of helplessness. Anyone can build resilience, which in turn relieves stress and negative emotions.
When was a time you experienced painful change? What helped you bounce back?