Releasing Guilt & Shame

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People often come to hypnosis knowing there’s got to be a way out of guilt and shame, without knowing how to get there. Others have no idea guilt or shame are holding them back from a fuller, happier life.

When we act out of our guilt and shame, we act, speak, and think from our hurt instead of our heart.

Guilt is created when we judge ourselves for how our actions, speech, and thoughts conflict with our values. It involves the wish to undo something we’ve done.

As bad as guilt feels, there’s the sense that- an apology, a change in behavior- the wrong can be righted.

Shame is an inner experience, an underlying belief that we’re defective. It’s a core belief that relates to the sense that others see us negatively.

With shame, comes a sense of futility, that what’s wrong is on the inside and it’s unfixable.

When we discover the positive intent behind our guilt and shame, we begin to shift towards a happier way of being.

In hypnosis, people plagued with guilt and shame begin to build their sense of identity, create healthy boundaries, and recognize inner resourcefulness.

As shame and guilt loosen their grip, self-sabotage gives way to a new way of being.

We discover we acquired tools from our worst experiences, allowing us to see our worst challenges and ourselves in a new light because we wouldn’t be who we are today without them.

In hypnosis, we let go of the outdated negative talk in our heads so we can replace with it with updated words, behaviors, beliefs that better serve us.

Why Hypnosis?

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Hypnosis involves a deeply relaxed state where we have access to the subconscious mind.

People come for hypnosis for many different reasons. For example, to overcome habits, fears, phobias, or stress. They also come for hypnosis to break bad habits or create new ones. For example, improved sleep, weight loss, and smoking cessation.

All therapeutic hypnosis involves self-improvement.

Often, we just need to learn how to tap into the body’s natural wisdom.

Between sessions, clients practice new tools, ways of being, and listen to hypnosis recordings.

The main goal of hypnosis is to align subconscious motivation with conscious desire.

What brings most people in is when the subconscious and conscious are out of rapport.

The subconscious mind is responsible for our habits, behaviors, and emotions. It likes autopilot and acting without thinking.

Whereas the subconscious mind is 90% of our brain power, the conscious mind is only 10%.

When you consciously want to change but can’t, it’s because the subconscious mind is much more powerful, and has put on the brakes.

Hypnosis involves getting the two parts of our minds to collaborate to that we can achieve more flow, happiness, and deeper satisfaction with life.

The subconscious is a place that is beyond words- it’s where your imagination, memories, dreams, aspirations, and intuition live.

We use imagery and symbolism in hypnosis for discovery about the best way to move forward.

Deep relaxation in hypnosis allows the answers you’re seeking to naturally arise.

During hypnosis, you are always fully in control. If you want to scratch an itch, you can. Most of the time you’ll be too relaxed to want to.

Because the subconscious stores all our memories, we look for associations, and can change negative ones to positive ones, and vice versa.

For example, if, as a child you had a bad experience with a dog, your subconscious mind, responsible for survival, will store the perception of dogs as threatening. This is how, as an adult, and without memory of the bad experience, you may be afraid of dogs and not know why.

Using hypnosis, we aim to calibrate the two parts of your mind by creating new habits, associations, and ways of being.

Art, Poetry & Hypnosis

Inner Landscape by Janet Karam

Art was my first love. Then came poetry. Now hypnotism. Underneath all is the healing power of the imagination, my tendency to search for meaning and connect deeply with life. I love the way these modalities can be woven together into a magical healing process.

If I could paint or write until I became a whole person, I may have. But I kept seeking, knowing there was something I was missing. What took me to hypnosis was the need to go deeper, the need to explore the subconscious mind.

My intuition told me the key to wholeness was there, it was spot on.

I explored dream yoga, meditation, journaling about life, and spending time in nature. All becomes an important part of the journey.

Hypnosis worked because it allowed my over-analytical mind to take a breather. It allowed me to feel and in turn heal deeply through the use of therapeutic imagery.

Being an artist and a poet helps me help my clients discover and realize their own vision. I still paint vivid pictures, only now by saying the words that swing open the door to the imagination of others to facilitate healing.

The Healing Power of Imagination

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If you’re like me, you’ve experienced distracting thought-images to the point you’re unable to engage with the people or situations around you. Maybe you’re drowning in a sea of negative thought as I once did.

Put to good use, your imagination is the ultimate healer. It’s a power that lies latent within us until its discovery, at which time it becomes a life-changing force.

As a child, I spent much of my time in imagination. Fantasy prone for much of my life, I got so turned around with emotion that I couldn’t differentiate between imagination and reality.

When faced with triggers, my reactions were so strong that I yielded to negative forces I believed to be stronger than me without realizing the source of my struggle originated within.

Imagination is our driving power.

Whether we realize it or not, our imagination moves us forward or keeps us stuck.

Half the time we don’t realize that we’re recycling thought-images that keep us in a state of self-perpetuated misery. When our minds are occupied with wounds, fears, or a sense of lack, we end up reeling in more of the same without realizing we’re doing so.

Instead of an ideal world, we create a miserable one.

Chronic worry is negative daydreaming.

For children and adults alike, our imaginations can improve an unsatisfactory reality.

Though at one time, our negative thought-pictures may have protected us, chronic worry, paralyzing fears, and phobias later outlive their purpose.

This is because when we associate ourselves with negative states, we forget who we are. We become overidentified with our negative thought pictures.

Awareness is key.

At one point, my overactive imagination- fears, worries, and anxiety- got the best of me, kept me from leading a full life.

The answer for me was awareness. When I turned inward, away from the five senses, toward my intuition, my life immediately began to improve.

This is because when I entered a deeply relaxed state (theta) my imagination was freed from negative thought patterns.

Consciously used, imagination is the key to a happier life. We put it to good use by generating images that coincide with our ideals

In a relaxed state, the imagination is freed from the constraints of logic.

The solution is turning inward.

In a world filled with deadlines, relationships, and responsibilities, we often keep our focus turned outward without realizing the rich world within.

The key to successful imagining is tuning into the images that flash through our minds, and working towards replacing negative with positive thought-pictures.

Hypnosis, daydreaming, deep meditation all involve theta brain states associated with super learning. This is why hypnosis can be so powerful.

In a relaxed state, the imagination is freed from the constraints of logic, allowing for the forward movement towards our deepest goals.

Imagination Workshop

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Why is it that we often imagine what we don’t want to have happen?

The power of our subconscious is almighty.

When we’re tuned into the wrong station, paying attention to pictures that don’t align with our desires, we end up adopting the desires of others.

Then we resent them!

You Are an Image GeneratorThe World is Your Screen

Think about it. With all your senses and feelings at your command, you’re way more powerful than a movie projector. More than audio-visual and a 2-D screen.

As it turns out, guiding your imagination to your desires is the best exercise of your free will.

If the pictures in your head aren’t what you want, stop!

Get ultra-clear on your desires instead.

This is the first step in harmonizing your body and mind.

Be decisive. You’ve either got to breathe fire into a desire or let it fade. Letting go of dead wishes, allows new ones to emerge.

Prioritize Your Deepest Dreams

In the beginning, your list of desires and order of priority will change.

When your desires are vague or inauthentic, it’s a discovery process.

As you gain clarity, you can add new desires to your list, remove dead ones, and fine-tune the priority order.

Hard-wire Your Desires

When you’ve got a list that feels good, hardwire it into long-term memory through repetition.

Read, write, and recite!

Imagination Workshop

Now let positive imagining become part of your daily practice. Find symbolic images that represent the achievement of each desire at the forefront of your mind.

Like image snapshots.

Keep the sensory experiences alive – all the details – keeping the well-being of others in mind as you positively imagine.

Practice Gratitude

When a desire is realized, remember to give thanks with your entire being.

Emotional Alchemy

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You want to feel better…

Who hasn’t wished for what someone else has, resented someone, or tried to control others by withholding something?

Like a magnet, your mind seems to draw more and more negative thoughts.

Magnetizing Thoughts

Say I resent someone. I stew on it because in the back of my mind I believe it proves how badly I’ve been wronged.

All I’ve proven is my ability to focus intensely on something that makes me feel terrible.

We’ve all done this.

It’s humbling, but true. We get what we contemplate. When I think of something I’m afraid of, I magnify it. A quick look at your own life and the lives of others will reveal the same truth.

Whether our negative state involves an overtaxed schedule, past regret, or someone who rubs you the wrong way, the more you think of it, the more of it you get.

Deliberate Thought

We are mightier than we realize.

What we think about materializes. To feel better, we must train our imaginations on the good.

Love and hate are opposites. Same with fear vs. faith, resentment vs. forgiveness, jealousy vs. admiration, and freedom vs. restraint.

We can’t feel opposite emotions at the same time.

Try, it’s impossible.

Emotional Alchemy

So, what’s the antidote?

Think of yourself as an alchemist.

Focus on your desired state. Mix images, words, and mood to concentrate to the opposite of the negative state.

Conclusion

Like attracts like holds true for thoughts.

Every desire, uttered or unexpressed, is a demand.

Florence Scovel Shinn

We bring forth what we think about.

How are you directing your thoughts today?

Feeling is the Secret

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Who doesn’t want more peace, happiness, and joy? But if you don’t understand the impact of your emotions, putting your attention there may not be on your to do list.

I awoke with the idea that I won’t pour anymore resentment, envy, or remorse into the melting pot of emotion. That I’ll turn my attention to the stars, ocean, my breath instead.

I like the way it sounds and feels. I’m not saying I won’t ever feel negative emotions. Just that we are all mighty mood-shifters, for better or worse.

Whether we intend to or not, our inner worlds have ripple effects.

Emotions Are Contagious

I’m sure you recall a time when someone you loved became moody or hostile. Tensions peaked and fights ensued.

On the flipside, in the presence of a joyful child or playful animal, you may have found an easy smile that come from your toes.

The subconscious does not originate ideas, but accepts as true those which the subconscious mind feels to be true and, in a way known only to itself, objectifies the accepted ideas…

Neville Goddard

Earlier in life, I thought I was at the mercy of others’ moods. Face with intense emotions, I felt powerless. Even frightened.

Mindset Shift

What we store in our subconscious drives us. When I believed in a hostile world, that’s what I got. When I believe in harmony, I get harmony.

It took effort and humility to see it was my inner world creating my outer reality.

We do things backwards. In the past, I certainly did. I tried to fix things out there until I discovered I hadn’t tended to my own garden.

Uprooting Weeds, Planting Seeds

It takes courage to stop projecting our inner worlds on the outer. We want to point our finger.

When I faced the mirror, I wanted to run.

More than that, I wanted to change how my garden looked. I began to pull up deep-rooted weeds like envy, resentment, shame, and fear.

It wasn’t easy. For a couple of years, I did an inventory and came up with a handful of negative beliefs.

My false beliefs likely similar to yours: I’m not good enough, The good will never last, I don’t have what it takes

(to name a few).

Sowing seeds like love, abundance, joy is the best use of our conscious will.

What’s do you want in your garden?

How to Be a Resilient Person

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So you’ve gone through a rough patch and find yourself reliving the old pain. Now what? When do you shift to a resilient mindset? It’s more simple than you might think. Still, it takes effort.

Without adversity there can be no growth. And while blame, shame, and defensiveness are natural reactions to upheaval, on the other side of adversity comes wisdom, self-compassion, and confidence.

What does resilience mean?

Every time we bounce back from a tough patch, we become better people. Resilience is a positive trait anyone can develop. Resilience is the valuable gem on the other side of painful change.

What’s an example of a resilient person?

In Lucy Hone’s TedTalk, The Three Secrets of Resilient People, she talks about the loss of her 12-year-old daughter. In an effort to find hope on the other side of her grief-stricken state, she put her own resilience research to the test.

It is utterly possible to make yourself think and act in certain ways that help you navigate tough times. Resilient people don’t diminish the negative but they also have worked out a way of tuning in to the good- Lucy Hone

Lucy is the epitome of resilience.

How to build resilience

The more on the list below you can muster, the better.

  1. Positive self-talk.

2. Remind yourself of a time you demonstrated resilience. Tap into those feelings again.

3. Connect with loved ones, including your pets. Allow others to soothe you. Remind yourself you’re not alone.

4. Take care of your body. That means healthy foods, plenty of sleep, water and exercise.

5. Journal, pray, and meditate. Find the deeper meaning of the event.

When You’re Overwhelmed

Chunk down tasks into small steps. Ask yourself, What’s the easiest next thing I can do. Let go of perfection.

Appreciate the aspects of your life that make you feel good.

Conclusion

No one escapes adversity. To build resilience, shift your attention to better-feeling thoughts and actions.

Building resilience lets you overcome a sense of helplessness. Anyone can build resilience, which in turn relieves stress and negative emotions.

When was a time you experienced painful change? What helped you bounce back?

References

https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience

https://positivepsychology.com/3-resilience-scales/